Epeolatry

Epeolatry

She drinks whiskey out of teacups

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348177

p0kemina:

I’m going to make a youtube video entitled

"Shit ALL men say”

and it will consist only of the phrase “But not all men say that~!!”

And then I’ll wait for men to stare at their keyboards in utter distress as they contemplate the paradox of their intense desire and desperation to inform me that not all men say that.

I will break them.

(via thecakeisalive)

748634

vvhitehouse:

aneastcoastbreeze:

vvhitehouse:

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

  • instant cute outfit with minimal effort
  • it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
  • sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
  • u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

(via thecakeisalive)

355468

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

(via jimmysbitch)

58838

"I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can."

- Kristin Armstrong (via wordsthat-speak)

(via judahuda)

228001

lynzave:

today these kids were talking and being really rude during a test so I finally fulfilled my dream of telling them off by yelling “I AM FAILING THIS CLASS AND YOU DILDOS AREN’T HELPING MY SITUATION, LET ME TAKE MY TEST” and it went dead silent for like two seconds and one person snickered and the teacher said “don’t you dare laugh, she’s absolutely right”

I’ve never had a school official back me up after calling someone a dildo.

(via jimmysbitch)

279901

sansaofhousestark:

australia’s got a lot of fucked up shit going on but at least we can say our last mass shooting was 18 years ago

because after it happened we placed higher restrictions on gun ownership

because that’s the logical fucking thing to do

(via clitortoise131)

79861

"The timing in which people enter your life is very important."

28093

Send me a cup of coffee.

Espresso: Describe your usual morning routine.
Decaf: Impersonate one of your friends.
Macchiato: Name two things you think go well together and why.
Latte: List three aspects of your personality that you love.
Flat White: Confess the most recent crime you committed.
Iced: Make the weirdest face you can.
Cappuccino: Describe your ideal wedding.
Drip: Post a photo of a stuffed animal you own.
Mocha: Name one of your guilty pleasures.
Doppio: List two of your dream travel locations and why.
Black: Recall the worst insult you've ever received.
Americano: Post a photo of your favorite outfit.
Kopi: Describe an incident when you tried something new.
63717

primalooze:

a piece of advice from somebody who’s been through this a few times already: if somebody gives you a bad vibe trust your gut

(via smileydreams)

318641

angryplum:

shsl-pornstar:

man i wish homophobic people were actually AFRAID of gay people like could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples hearts with your homo

"If I do not have one trazillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will KISS THIS WOMAN on the MOUTH in front of your children.”

(Source: hillaryrodhamclintonofficial, via smileydreams)